dating

The only thing more daunting than dating is desi online dating. The expectations and values that come with being part of two cultures make a confusing subject even more confusing.

How do you appear personable and relatable in the dark, cold place of dating apps and online profiles?

It’s hard to really show up and be authentic online when all you have is your profile pictures and a written bio. The challenge about written profiles is that it requires you to sell yourself in less than 100 words.

After extensive research on several Indian dating profile sites, by which I mean having read and reviewed hundreds of potential dates for myself, I noticed several common mistakes in a typical desi woman’s dating profile.   

Have a look at these 12 common mistakes and see if you’re committing any of them. It might just take a few small tweaks to improve your own profile and land Mr. Right.  

[Read Related: Dating as a Brown Girl: 6 Things I Wish I Knew Before]

1. Not posting a profile photo

There is probably nothing more important than putting up a dating profile photo, yet, I’ve noticed that more than half of desi women do not upload any kind of photo. Most of the time, I filter out profiles of women who don’t have a photo posted. How you look isn’t everything, but I do need to know you’re a real person and this isn’t a fake profile!

2. Having a profile photo with friends

Which one are you? All the women in these photos look good! Are you the single one on the right? The single one in the middle? The single one on the right? Don’t make me guess or choose the woman I’d like to date. Let me know which person you are and ideally, include photos of yourself.

3. Saying you’ll complete your profile later

There are a surprising number of profiles with photos, but not much information to follow. You just say that you’ll complete the profile portion later. Where did you go? When are you coming back? Will I still be here? Such a cliffhanger! Don’t be a tease. Please complete your profile.

4. Not creating your own profile

Only on Indian dating sites can other people can create a profile for you. Yet, I notice that I’m immediately turned off by parents, siblings, and friends who create your dating profile. If you’re not interested in creating your own dating profile, I wonder if you’re interested in dating.

5. (Too much) puppy love

If you talk mostly about your dog and put more than one photo of your dog in your profile pictures, I begin to wonder if I can make you as happy as your dog. I doubt I can. Less dog talk and more small talk, please.

6. Professing your love of food and travel

You may love food and travel, but 95 percent of the dating profiles I’ve come across have women saying they love food and travel. Who doesn’t love food and travel :)? Maybe you can get more specific. What type of food do you like? Where would you like to travel to? It’s so universal that simply stating the obvious to your profile doesn’t help your profile stand out.

[Read More: Director Kabir Chopra on Awkward Dating Stories & New Web Series ‘Swiped to Death’]

7. Stating your professional qualifications

Many profiles are over the top with academic qualifications and professional degrees. While these are big factors we take into account for marriage in our culture, for me and possibly other men, the talk about your career and achievements makes me think you prioritize this more than other aspects of your life. Also, it makes me think that I can never measure up or keep up with your career and profession.

8. Having a long list of desired qualities

It’s good to have a sense of who you’re looking for, but a checklist of more than 10 items is going to make it hard for me to respond. I do not have all these desired qualities, and I doubt many guys are going to get all of those checkmarks. A tall, handsome doctor who is emotionally resilient, a good cook and great with kids is already married with kids in high school.

9. Saying you’re a blend of two cultures

This is the most cliché phrase that is used in almost every dating profile by a desi woman.

10. Saying you’re not here to play games

I’m not either but how about Monopoly? Honestly, this seems unusually harsh and I’ve already stopped reading.  

11. Talking about your ex’s bad habits and shortcomings

Desi dating sites are the best place, and by that I mean the absolute worst place, to list all the undesirable qualities of your exes. Filling your profile with negative traits and bad habits of other men is an instant turn-off.

12. Making it all about your busy life.

You sound like you have a super awesome life filled with work, working out, family, travel, food, and friends. How do I fit into this picture?


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